new saddlebags

Spanish language spoiler alert!  If you’re still translating Ada’s comment from several posts back stop reading because she was just passing me a message that the computer garment I’d commissioned was ready.

Here’s to my neighbor Erin who crafted me a sack for the new laptop made from an old soft yellow shirt my daddy bought 197x.  The shirt no longer fit me and it really didn’t fit Dad but now it’s back in circulation.  The laptop’s already more scratched up than my ’96 pickup (also courtesy of JGM) after I pitched it into an old tool bag which had enough dirt and grit in it to be a poor man’s rock tumbler.

Actually the rock tumbler toolbag is a Frietag bag.  It’s of German design and Swedish manufacture and made from recycled seatbelts and used advertising banners.  Without emperor vision it’s just a vinyl sack that I paid more than a hundred bucks for because I saw one in a design display at the MOMA in Manhattan and when I’m in New York City my economic equilibrium gets dangerously tweaked.  I’d pay ten bucks for a hotdog and twenty bucks for a mixed drink so what’s a hundred bucks for a sexy german rubber satchel with a seatbelt for a shoulder strap?  I mean, it is waterproof.

Add to the “gone common-sense-blind in the big city” the bralessness of the v-neck white t-shirt wearing salesgirl and you see how helpless I was.  Also I’ll have to admit to having a rather serious man-purse fetish.   I once paid a thousand pesos for a small leather satchel in Mexico City from a fully clothed man, so I know its not just good saleswomanship.

It was liberating to hear the super-writer Michael Chabon extoll the virtues of the man-purse in his recent book on manhood.  He writes about abandoning overstuffed pockets and embracing a rugged and spacious diaper bag.  His kids call it his purse.  In this age of cyborg Mr. Moms the idea of a man traveling light with a billfold and a few keys is as atavistic as the Marlboro Man.

I may not have kids, but I’ve got stuff.  Without the tactical shoulder bag I just had to purchase to hold beer on that rafting trip I’d have never gotten the laptop here to the beach to finish this post.  Thank you neighbor with the unsecured wireless!!


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6 responses to “new saddlebags

  1. You’re already at the beach? Well, I hear there’s free conditioner while supplies last so you and Sauce should have lustrous hair while there. P.S. Did the man in Mexico City have his shirt unbuttoned perchance?

  2. My company furnished laptop coozy could easily pass as a man-purse, so I never shoulder it. In my mind it removes the feminine touch if you just tote in your hand with a firm grip. Your homemade one is awesome! I’d buy one. Enjoy the Florida beaches and Gulf slick.

    • Maybe I’ll make millions converting goodwill rags into laptop coozies and then move here to the island to further investigate the long term effects of skin and liver poisoning.

      No tar balls here. We were assured on the news by the coast guard that tar balls are non-toxic but should not be played with. What’s the standard for toxicity? I guess it means something won’t kill you but will permanently stain your swim trunks.

  3. What up Ben! Aren’t you supposed to be working right now?

    Anyone reading blog comments should click on the purple benthewelder to share Ben’s fantastical and funny oxbow lake boating exploits.

    You think all states bordering the mighty Mississippi teach about oxbow lakes in elementary school?

  4. Pingback: Jemaine vs. That Other Guy | Chasing The Bread Truck·

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