A modest proposition

Word is that BP is sending truckloads of money to the gulf states to deal with the “perception” that the gulf is unvacationable.  In a triumph of advertising over engineering, they’re sucking up all the bad press and pumping out clean and joyous stories of good times in the gulf.

Well, here I am Brittish Petroleum doing my part to reassure folks on the mainland that my sand scoured feet are tar free*.  I don’t need a truckload.  A shopping bag full of cash would ensure continued glowing posts from this part of the bay all summer long, come what may.

For two bags of money I’ll happily eat filter feeders.  Actually if you just picked up the tab I’d eat about anything*** formerly marinating in chemical disperants.

*tar balls** are non-toxic, according to the Coast Guard, who are excellent boat and helicopter drivers and people rescuers and I’m sure accomplished toxicologists.

**Do not touch, fondle, or try to make tar babies out of tar balls or tar ball related products.

***I will not eat sea slugs.  Those things freak me out.


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