I recently installed a flat screen TV across the street for my neighbor Eli and the greater glory of the horn drenched world cup. The TV was:state of the art credit card thin terrifying to unbox 7
When you hire me to do even the simplest project be prepared for a massive tool explosion followed by a secondary and larger dust and debris field. This is the curse and burden of my trade(s). All I needed to do was find some studs, cut a hole through plaster and lathe for a new receptacle, and mount a television. The tool explosion consisted of:2 tool bags with hand tools out for wiring, prying, bashing, measuring, 4 powertools- grinder, 2 drills, jigsaw an old wheezing shopvac 7
It was disorienting to look back at our house from across the street- like seeing how wierd the back of my head is shaped on video. My template for “how things are” got a little tweak.
Then Eli’s mom arrived with her laundry basket are really goosed my template.
Hold it! I just looked up “goosed” to check its usage and the little red macbook dictionary claims that it means to: 1. poke (someone) between the buttocks. Can anyone confirm this? What kind of a perverted geese are we talking about?! Apparently more than just my “template” is getting jounced…
…The top of mom’s laundry basket was covered with a fine screen and contained a blanket, a small cup of water, and one hummingbird recovering from a wing injury. Eli’s mom told me not to share this information with anyone because she’d kept the bird more than a month and this was in violation of some animal rescue oath sworn long ago. Well, I didn’t make any promises and this was just too magical to keep to myself.
Off came the screen and out came the bird for its daily flight practice. The shiny new TV with all of its highly defined pixel glory was forgotten as 5 year old Holland, surrounded by his parents, grandmother, and one odd neighbor (me!), held his hand flat a few inches from the floor to act as safety net for this small hovering miracle. Talk about good special effects!
Also in attendance was Bella, a huge and this time of year perpetually overheating fur beast. Bella is the ultimate kind and protective nanny dog with glances that convey calm intelligence but I’m pretty sure she just wanted to swallow the little bird for a midmorning snack.
Luckily no birds or expensive televisions were harmed in the making of this post and as far as I know both flying practice and the world cup are proceeding according to plan.