A Highland St. Miracle

I recently installed a flat screen TV across the street for my neighbor Eli and the greater glory of the horn drenched world cup.  The TV was:

state of the art
credit card thin
terrifying to unbox

When you hire me to do even the simplest project be prepared for a massive tool explosion followed by a secondary and larger dust and debris field.  This is the curse and burden of my trade(s).  All I needed to do was find some studs, cut a hole through plaster and lathe for a new receptacle, and mount a television.  The tool explosion consisted of:

2 tool bags with hand tools out for wiring, prying, bashing, measuring,
4 powertools- grinder, 2 drills, jigsaw
an old wheezing shopvac

It was disorienting to look back at our house from across the street- like seeing how wierd the back of my head is shaped on video.  My template for “how things are” got a little tweak.

Then Eli’s mom arrived with her laundry basket are really goosed my template.

Hold it!  I just looked up “goosed” to check its usage and the little red macbook dictionary claims that it means to: 1. poke (someone) between the buttocks.  Can anyone confirm this?  What kind of a perverted geese are we talking about?!  Apparently more than just my “template” is getting jounced…

…The top of mom’s laundry basket was covered with a fine screen and contained a blanket, a small cup of water, and one hummingbird recovering from a wing injury.  Eli’s mom told me not to share this information with anyone because she’d kept the bird more than a month and this was in violation of some animal rescue oath sworn long ago.  Well, I didn’t make any promises and this was just too magical to keep to myself.

Off came the screen and out came the bird for its daily flight practice.  The shiny new TV with all of its highly defined pixel glory was forgotten as 5 year old Holland, surrounded by his parents, grandmother, and one odd neighbor (me!), held his hand flat a few inches from the floor to act as safety net for this small hovering miracle.  Talk about good special effects!

Also in attendance was Bella, a huge and this time of year perpetually overheating fur beast.  Bella is the ultimate kind and protective nanny dog with glances that convey calm intelligence but I’m pretty sure she just wanted to swallow the little bird for a midmorning snack.

Luckily no birds or expensive televisions were harmed in the making of this post and as far as I know both flying practice and the world cup are proceeding according to plan.


6 responses to “A Highland St. Miracle

  1. Michael – in the little French village of Murphoi, “goosed” meant “to pinch someone in the area between the back of the thigh and the buttocks”. As much as it pains me to admit this, it was a favorite form of torture my mother used on my dad as he was walking up stairs. Can you imagine how undignified the man looked dancing up the stairs to get away?

  2. I, too, can confirm that a goose is a firm poke with the finger in said area. It is also practiced in the little French village of Ashphoi, but the act is also accompanied with a loud squawk of the word “GOOSE!” As long as it’s extremely fast, it’s friendly. If it last more than a second you’ve got a situation on your hands. p.s. Malinda, I miss you! Please create a blog!

    • yeah yeah do it do it. It would be a good scrapbook for all the crazy hilarious things you forward plus a good venue for reporting the misadventures of Bilbo and Frodo.

  3. Well, Michael, tonight I informed Heather of my intention of starting a blog. She willingly took a picture of a girl with a hoolahoop and chaps at the Concert on the Quad. This will be my topic of my first rambling.

    • Was Heather also the one wearing the chaps/ hoolahoop ensemble?
      Can’t wait for you to get your ramble on!!! I will shamelessly promote your blog in hopes getting paid off with famous Malinda salads and sausage balls. Wait a minute! What about a sausage ball salad? So unnatural, so delicious.

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