Regarding the study of Modern Teens

A few observations from my recent study of the modern teen:

– Modern Teens live in a different time/space paradigm.  Let’s say you put 2 teens in a room.  Even if they’re more than a little interested in each other they’ll busily type away on their phones with parties unknown.  They may say 6 words to each other in an hour.  As soon as they leave that room they’ll need hours to catch up on all the information they urgently need to text EACH OTHER about.

“Remember when we were in that room?”

“Yeah.  That was so wierd!”

“LOL!”

“OMG! LOL!”

I’m sure LOL is SO 2001 and there’s a whole new list of spunky acronyms I’ll learn ten years too late.

Technology has shifted the modern teen perpetually out of sync with their immediate environment.  Luckily we send our Teen, who is only available to us on a short-term lease, to a farm during the day where she can engage in real-time/space activities and communications.

(This from the guy who spends countless hours online playing FPS’s with Paul who lives just around the corner.  What a jerk.)

An unscientific comparison of modern teen male and female specimens:

The unnamed female (Hi Fer!) is interested in documentaries and conversations about agronomics and political science.

The male subject prefers Adam Sandler movies and is more comfortable substituting funny movie quotes for actual conversation.

Luckily the male subject has dreamy Prince of Persia eyes, a lovely singing voice and a deft hand with the acoustical guitar.  The mutual appreciation of emotive singer-songwriting has bridged the cultural and maturity divide- doing what its done forever, smoothing out the horrible awkwardness that is teen interaction.

Please note: we are terribly biased towards the female specimen.  She is the new sunshine of our love, which makes me feel a little like a vampire with mixed metaphors.

Also note that during the research and observation period all teens were constantly chaperoned, although they are such well behaved young people that the oversight was unnecessary.

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9 responses to “Regarding the study of Modern Teens

  1. How many clicks (I prefer calling them hits, but it sounds kinda sketchy to say you had 110 hits yesterday) do you need to unlock an achievement? I bet it was 115.

  2. Click # 2. Vey accurate description of teen social networking.
    I still get LOL all time, even when I write or text something that’s not LOL worthy. We have instant messeging at work and I IM’ed a girl the other day to confirm who said a quote. Here’s how the conversation went:
    Me: “I looked up that quote. It was George Santayana who said it.”
    Her: “LMFAO! Thanks.”
    Apparently, those acronyms never go out of style, they just get more f-bombed. She sits close enough in the office to where I would have known if she were LHFAO and I heard nothing.

    • It took me like 3 minutes to figure out what LMFAO meant. I’m with you. LOL is too often short for Humorous Enough To Chuckle Inside My Head. HETCIMH is just to onerous, though. Maybe she really FELT like she was laughing her ass off, or maybe she can silently de-assify herself with her mind.

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