You have to hand it to the crazy old nutter. The modern man looks at a walnut branch, a pair of brush scrapers, and a handful of rusty nails and thinks, “i’ll get around to throwing that crap away, just as soon as i check some tweets.” Primitive tinkerer man doesn’t have a twitter account, but he does have a dusty workbench cobbled together from salvaged studs and sheathing, and he has time.
The tinkerer is an industrious soul, and somewhat paranoid and perhaps schizophrenic. He thinks, a spiked tree branch could come in handy by the looks of those new punks in the neighborhood, and why not upgrade it with dueling rusty scrapers? And just in case this unfriendly tetanus delivery system isn’t alarming enough, lets customize it further with cautionary colors!
i do not think this person slept peacefully.
A shout out to artificial intelligence. All of those billions Google’s spent so that the banner ads on my browser know how old i am. The ads suggest that i’m looking for a male lover in his 30’s, so i guess all that money has created artificial unintelligence, but i have no doubt it the machines will get smarter. i’m just disappointed that when our robot superiors finally emerge, they won’t be the evil slave masters we imagined. They’ll be in sales, and they’ll own us.
A shout out to the neighbors, for giving me the opportunity to unleash the grumpiest old man within at 4am this July 5th. Half-naked grumpy old me hobbled out of bed and down the stairs and into their yard to address a front porch full of patrioticly freaky revelers, in his crankiest voice, “STOP SHOOTING THOSE POPPERS!” -and then after a theatrical look at my watch- “i THINK it’s FOUR AM!” i left them stunned and disturbed, climbed up the stairs and back into bed, and had a good laugh with my sleepy wife.
A shout out to my strong and beautiful sister. thanks for subscribing to the blog!
And, word to my culinary tinkerer Dad, who’s mind thinks in these terms: